I came across this headline in the Daily Mail a couple of weeks ago and it has played on my mind ever since.January is well known as a popular month to file for divorce but what I found more interesting was that the study by support group OnePlusOne showed that less than five per cent had turned to a professional therapist, counsellor or a support service for help.
OnePlusOne Director Penny Mansfield said ‘People rarely decide to separate or divorce suddenly – often they’ve been thinking about it for months, if not years. Seeking help at an earlier stage – when the first thoughts about separation creep in – can be the first step in resolving problems and make the likelihood of splitting up less likely.’
From personal experience I know how difficult it is to regain good communication within a marriage when walls have been built up over time. I often wonder what my personal outcome would have been if we had turned to mediation or sought some emotional support. By the time I worked with a counsellor it was too late, my mind was made up and there was no going back. I suddenly found myself looking after two young children alone.
I have worked with many women (and a few men) during my time as a Wellbeing Therapist, who had concerns about their relationships. Less men because they are more reluctant to seek help for their problems. Using Healing, Flower Essences and talk therapy we are able to really look at what the root causes are. Sometimes just looking at a problem from a different perspective can make all the difference. Feelings of anger, frustration, grief and jealousy can all be tackled with the right natural therapies or counselling.
So I just need to say – if you ARE thinking about separation, please seek some support first.
Don’t struggle with your feelings alone and do as much as possible to keep communication flowing with your partner. Be happy Xx