Box of tissues

Why we should honour our tears

In my role as a Wellbeing Therapist & Healer, something I see on a regular basis is tears. Tears of grief, frustration, hopelessness, relief and joy. For me this is a natural and expected part of the healing process but my clients often feel really embarrassed by their crying. They apologise profusely for their weakness and inappropriate outburst! They do not understand that they should honour their tears as they are the beginning of their healing journey and that I am providing a safe place for them to let their feelings show.

Our tears are often suppressed emotions, stresses and concerns that we need to ‘look’ at. So why is it that we are uncomfortable to cry in front of another? Why do we feel that it is wrong to be affected by what is troubling us? Some cultures are better at handling emotions than others. They are allowed freedom of expression. Sadly us Brits are well known for keeping a stiff upper lip and keeping our opinions to ourselves. Men in particular are thought of as weak if they cry. I have noticed that men also are quite fearful of a crying female! They find it hard to understand, the sometimes changing emotions of the women in their life.

I have been aware of changes coming through though in our younger generation. We often see contestants in shows such as the X factor quite freely expressing their emotions whether it is disappointment, anxiety or joy. For me, when a client begins to cry it tells me how deeply a certain concern is affecting them. For the client it allows stress to be released which has often been held inside for a long time. They immediately feel more relaxed and are happy to explore their feelings. Stress held internally affects us physically and mentally, so as tears begin to flow the healing of mind, body and soul begins.

We should not feel guilty when we cry, it is just a natural way of letting out stress. Our tears literally cleanse our emotions. They can help us to express ourselves when the words are not available. So if you come into my treatment room one day soon, I will be very happy to share a box of tissues with you! x